Whaddup readuhs, she’s back! Though I’m sure even the cardboard cut outs have abandoned me at this point, the summer of neglect is over. Mainly because summer is also almost over, but whatever. Details.

The point is, I’m all settled into my new apartment, and it’s 450 sq. ft. of cozy, homey goodness. I finally feel like this is the kind of place I can hang up pictures, you know, because I might actually stay here for awhile (you all laugh BUT I BELIEVE THIS!).

More importantly, though, this move to a new apartment represents a fresh start. A new lease, a new year. This past weekend also marked my one year anniversary living in the Twin Cities area.

To say my first year post-graduation was chaotic is putting it nicely (see that? I’m nice!). Regardless, I learned a lot, such as how to avoid one way streets, and how delicious Bruegger’s bagels are. So I thought this might be a good time to reflect on 14 of the most important things I’ve learned, and share my wisdom with the three of you….

1.) When you’re walking home from the bus stop and end up in a rap music video…there is no right way to handle that situation. You will be resented. The cameraman will glare. And an outtake of you is probably somewhere on YouTube. Accept it now, and move on.

2.) All you can do is your best, and even if things aren’t working, you have to accept that you gave it your all. #Ugh

3.) You can’t trust the old lady bus drivers. Just because they look like your sweet grandmother, doesn’t mean they won’t run two red lights during rush hour. They also might drop you off in the middle of the road…which isn’t the most grandmotherly thing to do, but I digress.

4.) Shopping for car insurance online is pretty awful. You fill out one form, and before you know it, you’re screening your phone calls for the next two weeks. Also, you will forever receive junk mail emblazoned with either a gecko or Flo and her bump it on the envelope. Horrifying.

5.) If the woman working at the Minneapolis DMV suggests flipping off the camera for your new driver’s license picture, it’s okay to politely decline her offer.

6.) You experience having a broken heart at the same time as four of your friends, and you realize that everyone copes with it differently, which is totally okay. So feel free to keep drinking Moscato and binge-watching episodes of Hart of Dixie.

7.) Moving 4 times in a year makes you REALLY GOOD at packing and playing games of Tetris.

8.) Just because you graduated from college, doesn’t mean you won’t need your parents help for things. Seriously, have you tried understanding health insurance policies? (Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.)

9.) When you’re lonely and missin’ Ollie the Menace, you realize a trip to the animal shelter, and cuddling with a cat, is an almost religious experience because it restores your faith in the world.

10.) When moving to your new apartment, it’s pretty UNreasonable to expect to have a bathroom sink. Actually, it’s best to have zero expectations. By the way, still waiting for my REAL bathroom sink, WHAT GIVES?!

11.) After riding in a cab and listening to the driver complain for 15 minutes about how terrible the Minnesota Twins, Vikings, and Timberwolves are, you learn to continue rooting for your Boston sports teams.

12.) You learn that in even the lowest moments, being positive and hopeful is incredibly powerful.

13.) If you’re in an awkward situation, and you don’t know how to handle it, always channel Amy Schumer.

14.) Lastly, when you have a problem… skee-ball is the answer. Always… and 4ever.

So, with these lessons learned, here’s to a new year. Bring it on, Minneapolis… Huzzah!

-e