A few months ago, some of my coworkers and I were talking about the hellish experience of gym class. Don’t get me wrong, I was always down for a good game dodge ball, as I could always control my level of engagement (or lack thereof) by shielding myself behind my more ambitious classmates (AKA goddamn … Continue reading Gym Class Heroes & Zeroes
If you haven’t heard, memoirs are kind of in right now, and while I like to write, you probably won’t catch me writing one. This isn’t out of disrespect for the genre; in fact, I won’t try my hand at a memoir because I have too much respect for it. Honestly, what would I possibly … Continue reading Memoir
One month ago, I found myself 5 hours away from my Minneapolis apartment with ripped jeggings. I was just sitting down to have a nice meal with my family when I felt a bit of a draft. I looked down, fearing the worst. Sure enough there it was, on the inside of my right thigh. A nice, … Continue reading Ripped Pants and 5 Hours from Home: The Erin Stevens Story
I never aspired to have a career in politics, but sometimes politics choose YOU. That's what happened to me. They start 'em young in Buffalo, New York, which is where I attended K-3rd grade before journeying Westward to Wisco. Second grade isn't too early to start learning about the good ole American government, and so … Continue reading Erin and the Congressman
Let me start by saying no one was hurt during the retelling of this story. Unless you count my gag reflexes as a person, in which case they've been thoroughly exercised as I retell what was truly one of the grossest things to happen to me. It was a Wednesday night, and I was hungry. … Continue reading When There’s too much Farm on the Table
It seems that summer has turned into fall over night, and I couldn't be happier. Of course, maybe I'd be happier if I had a million dollars and 25 cats, but for now chilly fall weather is enough to put a smile on my face. Now, I'm not necessarily known as a fashionista, but one … Continue reading When I was Almost a Model
If you're reading this, that means I'm a survivor. It means I'm no longer curled up on the couch armed with my Dirt Devil, a rolled up newspaper, and a bowl of popcorn. It means I'm not trapped in my kitchen, looking up at the ceiling in terror. There aren't many things that stir up … Continue reading BEE.
It started with a phone call and it quickly deteriorated from there. He left three messages before I eventually called him back. All of the messages were some variation of "Hey Erin, it's Trainer Bro.* Just calling to let you know that with your new gym membership you get a free training session. Call me … Continue reading Story of an Unfortunate Hour- Erin and the Trainer