When There’s too much Farm on the Table

Let me start by saying no one was hurt during the retelling of this story. Unless you count my gag reflexes as a person, in which case they've been thoroughly exercised as I retell what was truly one of the grossest things to happen to me. It was a Wednesday night, and I was hungry. … Continue reading When There’s too much Farm on the Table

When I was Almost a Model

It seems that summer has turned into fall over night, and I couldn't be happier. Of course, maybe I'd be happier if I had a million dollars and 25 cats, but for now chilly fall weather is enough to put a smile on my face. Now, I'm not necessarily known as a fashionista, but one … Continue reading When I was Almost a Model

BEE.

If you're reading this, that means I'm a survivor.  It means I'm no longer curled up on the couch armed with my Dirt Devil, a rolled up newspaper, and a bowl of popcorn. It means I'm not trapped in my kitchen, looking up at the ceiling in terror. There aren't many things that stir up … Continue reading BEE.

Story of an Unfortunate Hour- Erin and the Trainer

It started with a phone call and it quickly deteriorated from there. He left three messages before I eventually called him back. All of the messages were some variation of "Hey Erin, it's Trainer Bro.* Just calling to let you know that with your new gym membership you get a free training session. Call me … Continue reading Story of an Unfortunate Hour- Erin and the Trainer

24 Questions

Hey, it's me. Given that my last blog post involved me committing a crime of parking on a piece of pizza, I'm sure many of you have guessed that I was busy, locked away in therapy sessions, trying to come to terms with what I'd done. I haven't been. In fact, I've probably eaten about 15 … Continue reading 24 Questions

The Great Pizza Murder Mystery of 2016

If you're friends with me on Facebook, then you know about the great misfortune I experienced last week. On Tuesday, March 8, 2016 at approximately 7:17 AM in South Minneapolis, I entered the parking lot to attend my business group's weekly meeting. I was pulling into a parking stall with what I thought had a piece of … Continue reading The Great Pizza Murder Mystery of 2016

Stop Sneezing.

That title seems a bit harsh, doesn't it? If you're reading this and feel that sensation in your nostrils that means you are, indeed, about to release an impressive amount of snot onto the computer screen, don't. Stop. It's not too late. Say "pineapple." (It works, don't doubt me!) Did you stop sneezing? Okay, good. … Continue reading Stop Sneezing.

Happy National Singles Awareness Day

You guys, it's almost here. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. In my biased eyes, the best holiday comes after Valentine's Day, which is when all the candy goes on sale. This for me is what Black Friday is to other shoppers. If you see me at 4 AM camped outside the Saint Louis Park Target, stop … Continue reading Happy National Singles Awareness Day