Hey, it’s me. Given that my last blog post involved me committing a crime of parking on a piece of pizza, I’m sure many of you have guessed that I was busy, locked away in therapy sessions, trying to come to terms with what I’d done.

I haven’t been. In fact, I’ve probably eaten about 15 slices of pizza since “the incident.” I’m a monster who can’t be stopped.

Anyway, for the last 6 months, I’ve been looking for a new job. Between working and job searching, I didn’t have much time for writing blog posts about important things like annoying sneezes, small ears and getting trapped in rap music videos.

That’s all changed now because I just found a great, new job. Translation: I have a bit more time to blog, and I have many post ideas that built up over the past few months… so look out. You can tell I’m ready to take my blog seriously again because I have THREE new blog banners that I’ll be using. Before anyone thinks I’m the mastermind behind the new design, my former coworker, insanely talented graphic designer, and friend Jenna Wood is the brain and beauty behind this creation. Let’s all show some respect for her mad skills. #props #respect

So, where to go from here….

Last week, I turned 24. Some people like to post a certain number of things that they learned in the year leading up to their birthday; however, given that the knowledge I’ve gained isn’t really all that earth-shattering, I thought maybe it would be better to list 24 questions that have been keeping me up at night… because let’s be real, I have way more questions than I have answers.

Buckle up, here we go:

1. Why is it so difficult to become a pro-skeeballer?
   

   Just waiting for my big break…

2. Why are corgis so cute?
   

   omg.

3. Why do I even give corgis a second glance when I’m a self-proclaimed cat lady? #ashamed #conflicted
4. Does anyone actually have time to sit and peel string cheese apart?
5. If you have a friend who DOES have time to peel string cheese apart, can you introduce me to them?
6. Why is it so difficult for people to love and respect one another, regardless of differences?
7. How come there can’t magically be more hours in a day?
8. Why hasn’t someone invented teleportation?
9. Is there a rehab program available for Netflix addicts?
10. ^^Even if there was such a program, would I have the willpower to stop watching?
11. How is Ollie so cute and annoying at the same time?
    

    That one time I wanted to get work done, but Ollie didn’t give a damn.

12. Why is my cat more photogenic than I am?
    

    Damn it, always showing me up.

13. Why does sexual harassment/harassment in the workplace still exist?
14. Why are oranges so delicious, yet so time consuming to peel and eat?
15. How did I get so lucky to have great family and friends?
16. If a narwhal and a horse had a baby, would unicorns finally exist? 
17. How come, when I reported sexual harassment, I was treated with disrespect? Why aren’t women taken seriously when these situations arise?
18. Why is my love for salad and pizza equal, but the calorie count is anything but? 
19. Why do people ask me if I like Minnesota or Wisconsin better? Why can’t I love them both equally?!
    

    Friends.

20. What is love?
21. Can I be best friends with Amy Schumer?
    

    My spirit woman

22. How can people be so cruel to the people they’re supposed to love? (i.e. Domestic violence)
23. As a big The Vampire Diaries fan, why didn’t the show creators quit while they were ahead and end the series at season 4? #LegacyRuined
24. Why is art so cool?
    

    Shout out to the Weisman Art Museum for such a cool exhibit, and shout out to the sheep that photo bombed this picture.

Here’s to 24 and hoping that this is the year I stop abandoning my blog….

-e