Reader's the time is drawing near. Tomorrow, I will be 26. Yes, I know, I will officially be closer to 30 than 20, a fact I have reminded myself of plenty of times over the past few weeks. One by one, the gray hairs on my head are slowly pulling me closer to the grim … Continue reading Balloons and Venus Fly Traps
Readers, let's talk about Canadian Geese. Specifically how they're so mean and how they. are. everywhere. I know geese are not unique to the upper Midwest, yet it's really difficult to imagine them being anywhere else because it seems like they are all living in my town. It wouldn't be a problem if they weren't … Continue reading Geese.
It's already mid-February, which means in Minnesota/Wisconsin it's still cold AF. It also means we are all on our way to being our own heroes and finally sticking with and accomplishing our New Year's Resolutions, right? RIGHT? One of the things I did on New Year's Eve (because it was too cold to actually think … Continue reading I Could Meditate or I Could…Not.
There are some love stories that are simply iconic. Romeo and Juliet... and others, I'm sure. Can you tell I don't spend a ton of time with romance? But that's all changed now. Two years ago, I had a job that required me to travel from the Twin Cities to Eau Claire, Wisconsin once a week. … Continue reading The 2C: the Story of an Iconic Love
A few months ago, some of my coworkers and I were talking about the hellish experience of gym class. Don’t get me wrong, I was always down for a good game dodge ball, as I could always control my level of engagement (or lack thereof) by shielding myself behind my more ambitious classmates (AKA goddamn … Continue reading Gym Class Heroes & Zeroes
I never aspired to have a career in politics, but sometimes politics choose YOU. That's what happened to me. They start 'em young in Buffalo, New York, which is where I attended K-3rd grade before journeying Westward to Wisco. Second grade isn't too early to start learning about the good ole American government, and so … Continue reading Erin and the Congressman
Let me start by saying no one was hurt during the retelling of this story. Unless you count my gag reflexes as a person, in which case they've been thoroughly exercised as I retell what was truly one of the grossest things to happen to me. It was a Wednesday night, and I was hungry. … Continue reading When There’s too much Farm on the Table
If you're friends with me on Facebook, then you know about the great misfortune I experienced last week. On Tuesday, March 8, 2016 at approximately 7:17 AM in South Minneapolis, I entered the parking lot to attend my business group's weekly meeting. I was pulling into a parking stall with what I thought had a piece of … Continue reading The Great Pizza Murder Mystery of 2016